Been to Church?
One of the cornerstones of a happy and healthy life is one of spiritual fulfillment. At least, that’s what my parents always taught me. Making at least one day for the Lord seems like a doable thing, but I know that we all get that feeling early Sunday morning of just wanting to stay in bed.
My family is Methodist and before I went to college, we went to church regularly. Our services were pretty mild (read: quiet) and there were a lot of old people that attended. Most Sundays, if I wasn’t participating in the handbell choir or reading a passage, it was very boring to me. I’d fall asleep during the pastor’s message and really just looked forward to the usual Sunday breakfast following service. I don’t remember ‘gaining’ too much from those years, but I did enjoy the more contemplative service over some of the other livelier Baptist or non-denominational traditions or stoic Protestant ones.
When I was in college, I didn’t go to church at all. Maybe it was because I wasn’t in my home town, or maybe it was because I was just really lazy. I always relished Sundays because I typically did nothing. I was recovering from partying hard the night before, gearing up to watch football all day, or finally putting some time into my books and my bed. When I went home, I went to the ‘popular’ services (Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day). I always had this feeling in the back of my head that my weeks never reset to prepare me for the week, but I tried to compensate for that by having religious discussions with my friends and pontificate on how I felt really blessed and that God was a forefront priority in my life…despite my lack of attendance to His house.
Today, now that I am married and expecting my first child AND living in my old neighborhood, church is becoming that cornerstone again. I think my maturity has finally caught up to my ignored peace-of-mind, ultimately creating a craving for sanity every week. I sometimes think it is related to the new responsibilities I’ve been blessed with. It’s almost as if the world’s ills have created an environment that my soul begs to be protected from. While I still have my physical New Year’s resolutions, church has become spiritual exercise that now feeds my energy and outlook.
What about you? What challenges do you have in getting back to church?
What would you encourage other young people to do to find their spiritual safe haven? Have you struggled with going consistently like I have?
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Comment by Gloria on 5 May 2008:
Like Fredric, I have struggled with the same issues in going to church (basically following the same path), and it has only been this year that I have began to enjoy and need what my parents tried to show me.
The best suggestion I can offer in trying to find a safe haven is very simple: If you are curious seek Him out and the rest will fall into place. For me, I started by simply reading the bible, and then finding a church home, and my attitude and actions followed. I haven’t looked back! Now, church, bible study, and God loving people are at the forefront of my life, and life is fantastic!!!
It is not about the acts we do (going to church every sunday, confession, communion) as much as it is about having an open, loving, and genuine heart and REALLY inviting God into it. Also, for those who are afraid it not that we are “losing” anything…we have much to gain, but we have to give to receive our blessings. He will prune your life, and it may be painful, but hey–no pain NO GAIN!! God is not angry, He is loving, and wants us to be happy. He also gave us the CHOICE to love him and seek him.
Earlier this year we had a guest pastor who concluded his message by saying, “If you don’t know Jesus-seek him out. What’s the worst that can happen? You could walk out of here and be killed.” Unfortunately, one of our members had that very thing happen to her about 15 minutes later. However, she was not afraid, because she knew the Lord and knew she was not going to a bad place. Then ask yourself–how would you feel if you were in that situation?
God Bless!
Comment by Stephon on 6 May 2008:
During college, I had a problem with going to church consistently, or rather the same church consistently. My friends and I church-hopped, visiting the same 3 or 4 churches in the area and occasionally making the trip to Chicago area to go to a “real” church.
When I finally graduated and moved to the West Coast from Chicago, I didn’t attend church once in the first 4or 5 months. It was mostly because I was lazy about seeking out fellowship and I love football (one of my mottos used to be “Sunday is God’s Day and he let the NFL borrow 9 hours of it”). It was really easy for me to wake up at 7am PST to check my fantasy lineup, watch all the news reports about injured players and decide on a place to watch the early games. But somehow, I could’t get myself to sacrifice a game to get to church.
Similar to Fredric, I found that my weeks never “reset”. I felt that I was missing on something core to my being. My work and my personal life suffered. I tried to minister to myself occasionally, but that failed miserably. It wasn’t until January of 07 that I made a conscious and proactive effort to engage in spiritual activities. I started visiting churches with my friends in the area-since I plan on being here for a few more years, I figured I should “plant” myself in a church home. I also started for looking for coworkers with similar spiritual beliefs. I am blessed to find that at my company a group of “20-somethings” engage in a weekly bible study at someone’s home, withg dinner and prayer as well. The group also organizes informal movie and game nights, hiking trips, and other activities. Now, I haven’t missed a Sunday at my new church home except when I travel for business. I don’t mind missing the early NFL games(I mean that’s what ESPN is for). I’ve become more active in the church attending multiple times during the week and really connecting with the members there- to the point I consider them truly family.
The most useful thing I can encourage someone to do is to Seek the Lord (of course), but to also seek Him in His people. Ask around the office casually about churches people go to. Walk to the local church and check it out. Ask your friends if they are or someone they know is having a great church and spiritual experience. I know for myself, it would have been hard to do the exploration on my own and perhaps that’s a barrier for some. It’s a lot easier to think yourself out of going when your doing the Chruch thing “Lone Ranger” style. So take a friend along. And pray for guidance- there is a place for everyone.
Comment by Latonya on 7 May 2008:
I like mega churches. I started my mega church affinity at Trinity UCC. However, the whole getting to church 30 mins before it starts just to get a seat and sitting in the parking lot for 15 mins just to get out is crazy to me. Oh and check this out…I can’t get how wearing apple bottom jeans and halter tops to church is acceptable. What’s up with that? People are taking the “come as you are” scripture way out of context. I’m old school…wear a dress, suit or skirt! It’s just for a couple of hours.
We are DSCR (Desparately Seeking a Church in Richmond)
Comment by Chris - Bay Area on 5 June 2008:
I can relate totally to what you are saying. I faced many of the same things. When I went to college in Charlotte, NC I went to church about 10 times over the course of 4 1/2 years and that was only because i was depressed about a girl or something. Months after graduation I moved to the Washington DC area where I went to church on Sundays while partying on Fridays and Saturdays and any other reasonable day of the week. I went because I knew it was right…but my heart wasn’t there. I felt the calling of “joining a church” from God, but at the time I was not set on staying in DC fully….I was making tremendous efforts to land a job in New York. There was always something “funny” about church for me. I felt like it was a show (even though I like the show most Sundays) but things just didn’t seem real to me. It also wasn’t helping when I found out that unsaid memebers had been caugth stealing money from the church I attended. My heart was set on that awesome career in DC or NYC (preferrably NYC at the time)…and not on doing God’s will and having a relationship with him.
But God is faithful…and a very Big God. One of my last attempts at a career in NYC ended up shooting me all the way out to the Bay Area. I interviewed, packed, a moved so fast I didn’t have time to think about how my life would change drasticaally. I met a co-worker within the 1st 2 weeks and started attending church with them. It was very different at first, but someting about it rang true. I believe God picked me up from the East Coast, moved me away from all my family, familiar friends, familiar party spots, and everything that i took comfort in to allow me to have a chance at a real relationship with him.
Times were super-tough! I wanted to leave and come back home. Shortly after attending church with my friend I began to have some bible studies with some men in the church. Through those bible studies I cam to realize that I was NOT a Christian. All I can remember thinking about was all of those years of going to church only to find out 23 years later that I was not in a real relationship with God.
Thingse were tough, but I now celebrate a “spiritual birthday” on December 19th. That’s where I learned that I couldn’t do it on my own. I needed spiritual relationships to help me…I needed to read the bible everyday for myself….I needed daily prayer “conversations” with God as need. Those things helped me to really “get connected”
That same God that watched me at parties in DC also was the same God 3,000 miles away that continues to reveal himself and his kingdom on earth to me everyday.
My advice is to anyone is to sincerely ask God to guide you to have a real & honest relationship with him and his people. It’s sad to say, but not every church is really following God. Whenever things get out of control, uncomfortable, and unexpected…be hopeful because he’s working in your life.
Comment by LookLively on 1 July 2008:
Interesting article. I think God-centeredness makes life better, even our business experiences. BUT…
I am not sure that it’s appropriate in a corporate environment to ask people where they go to church - even if you are simply asking so your find a place to go. I can think of a lot of people that would consider that invasive. I can think of several HR folks that would consider that unprofessional and might possibly put it in your file. (Which would become an issue when different departments seek to promote from within) If you’re an entrepreneur you might alienate yourself from clients. I for one am not a Christian, but I am very active in “my” spiritual community. If you assumed, because we shared a casual conversation every once in awhile that it was okay to ask me what “church” I attended, we’ve have a problem. Not a deal breaking one, but a problem nonetheless. Which brings me to my second point:
In general, I would suggest that the word “church” be replaced in conversations with most non-relatives with something a bit more inclusive. Perhaps “spiritual practice”. You see, Black people are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, Hindi, AbOrisa, Akan, Vodunisi, etc. etc. We should practice honoring all routes to God (Especially those that are African in nature.) so other Black people won’t think we are saying there is only one way to find God. Because once you’ve done that they don’t have any motivation to buy your product, pass your business plan along, recommend you for a promotion or forgive a misstep during your office presentation.